“A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.”
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca
We all have intentions. Face it- whether ill or good is of consequence one way or the other, but we all have them just the same.
It’s ok to admit it, really. We all know it but still, we act surprised as can be when it slaps us in the face. But, what if everyone just finally grew a set and said what they really meant?
Tissue sales would triple, assaults would spike, jails and hospitals fill to their limit, and a whole mess of hurt feelings remains.
Wow! Maybe not such an aggressive path.
There is a simpler way to healthy, productive communication. One where each individual involved feels like they’ve been both included and heard and everyone walks away better off, or…
The other, in which one person carelessly picks a fight over trying to control the situation and “have it their way.”
Which one would you prefer? Civilized or Chaotic?
We are all familiar with the feeling of being railroaded or coerced into a situation or agreement we don’t necessarily feel comfortable. Sometimes, it is a matter of authority versus diminutive such as laws and institutional rules. But sometimes, it is that we did not speak our mind clearly.
At the start of any relationship, we have a choice to make. We can either:
Not a whole lot of wiggle room there. We either be part of the creation process or we essentially relinquish all say. Or at least, we have a huge uphill battle to regain our control once we’ve frivolously pissed it away.
One thing is for sure, if you chose to roll the dice and give up your power in setting the tone, there will come a day when you ended up feeling resentment towards either yourself, your partner, or both.
So, we know we need to set healthy boundaries based on our personal beliefs and moral code, right?
Yet, how do we know what those are? How do we find a compromise differences arise? And, how do we communicate those sentiments to others in an open and positive manner?
*One added thought: Be prepared to listen as much as you talk, give as much as you take, and above all else…Speak with compassion and understanding and love.
Communication with the ones we love, or even the ones we work with or for can be a tricky track. Especially so, when we have an emotional or vested interest in the subject and/or outcome.
However, by starting openly and honestly to communicate our intentions and saying what we need to say without starting a fight or instigating bad blood or emotions can satisfy even the toughest of compromises.
If all parties to the discussion act in a positive, open-minded, and communicative manner there is no mountain too high to have to climb to be successful.