Being Positive & Mindful is Not Always Easy

Knowing When to Stand Our Ground & When to Walk Away is Essential to Our Emotional IQ

Speak clearly, if you speak at all; Carve every word before you let it fall.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Knowing when to stand up for ourselves is essential to self-care. Yes, we can turn the other cheek. However, sometimes a situation comes along where we have been disrespected and need to speak up for ourselves. This doesn’t mean that we can lose our heads or lose our cool. But, we have the innate right to stick up for ourselves when the circumstances deem necessary.

Most people think that living a positive and mindful life means never losing one’s temper. While yes, that is the goal there is absolutely no one, save for the most dedicated of Buddhist monks that could possibly maintain complete complacency and calm detachment in every situation.

There are certain situations in everyday life that dictate we stand up and use our voices. Say, for instance, someone is harming us or another, or perhaps stealing from us or another. We have the right and the duty to use whatever means necessary to protect ourselves and others from harm.

When we attempt to be positive and mindful we are simply cultivating a frame of mind or philosophy. We are practicing detachment as is done in Buddhist teaching but we are also human. If we react harshly at an inappropriate time our duty is to realize and be mindful of our actions, make apologies and amends where possible and applicable.

We are trying to be mindfully positive, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get sad or angry or jealous or upset. It only means that we are seeking to be more aware of our emotional reactions to the things that happen both to and around us.

I lose my temper at times, and it’s not a pretty sight nor sound, but I always make an effort to perform a self-check to see whether or not my reaction was appropriate, justified, or overblown. I then attempt to re-establish a line of communication with the offended party and work out an amicable solution.

True, once a plate has been pulverized to bits, an apology will not make it whole again. Just as once a careless statement has left the lips cannot be unheard, and a stone thrown cannot magically be put back in my hand. But we can glue a plate back together, we can apologize for our words and we can help our victim nurse their wounds back to health if they allow us.

So, we must be mindfully present in our lives. We have to be mindful of the words we use and when we use them and where applicable take corrective action to fix the damages our carelessness has caused.

The more we practice this mindfulness, the more easily we control our emotions. The more we become aware of and are in control of our emotions, the better we can approach tricky or difficult situations.

The more our new skills are tested, the better we become at dealing with them. The more in touch we are with our emotional response the better our emotional IQ becomes. As this improves we raise our consciousness and awareness of our surrounding and how we interact with them.

In time, we will learn to master the art of learning to be patient and exercising compassion with those who try our resolve. We will learn new and mindful ways to transform a negative or harmful situation into a positive learning or teaching moment. Through our practice of mindful meditation and positive insight, we can help those who need it most by leading through the example of our gentle and enlightened nature.

There is a place on our face that we can transcend and grow peace. Our smile and a helping hand and perhaps an encouraging word can change someone’s outlook on life. We can help them see the error of their ways and begin to help them heal the hurt that leads them to such actions. We can be the catalyst for another’s growth. Bless up.