-Escaping Abuse: Love Yourself Again

It’s O.K. to Move On

I want to tell you something and you might not like it. It’s ok to move on. If someone hurt, broke, abused, neglected, or forced you to be anything but happy, it’s ok to move on.

It is natural to feel sad. It is natural to want to fight for what we convinced ourselves for months, years, decades that was meant to be. But at some point, you have to let go.

I know it can be terrifying to try and wrap your head and heart around the thought of starting over. The task of learning to trust ourselves, let alone someone else can strike enough fear and panic within us to paralyze us. But, you must move on.

No one can put a clock on how long we may take to heal. No one has felt this hurt the way that we do. The pains I felt from my past breakups and divorces could never be compared to the pains you feel from yours.But, you have to try to move forward.

Take your time, relearn yourself. It takes work to learn to trust ourselves and our judgments again after someone has shattered our sense of self. I can tell you this, it is achievable and worth it and we owe it to ourselves to be happy, safe, and healthy.

It’s ok to go slow but you must go!

Love yourself enough to see you deserve to be loved

My wish is that this article helps you to see that you are beautiful. I hope you have not lost the will to love yourself enough to walk away from those that seek to harm you in any way. My hope is that my insight may open your eyes to the world of possibility of a healthier and happy existence for you.

I invite you to see yourself as wonderful as you truly are! You deserve to love and be loved free of fear and again rest assured in the presence of others who wish to build with you and not destroy you.

No matter what kind of abuse it is, it is wrong

There are many forms of abuse and all are damaging on their own levels. Whether emotional, mental, or physical in nature-abuse is wrong and you do not need to tolerate it-PERIOD!

I have talked with dozens of people affected by all forms of abuse, none of them any lesser damaging than the other. I have experienced abuse in my own life and simply offer up my humble gesture of experience in hopes it might help you. I do not pretend to have all the answers. Hopefully, if you have or especially if you are currently in an abusive relationship you get help, get away from it, and can be safe again.

I do not pretend to have all the answers. Hopefully, if you have been or especially if you are currently in an abusive relationship you get help, get away from it, and can be safe again. I pray you find peace and resolution so that someday when you are ready, you open up your heart again and love without fear.

Abusive relationships are not just domestic or romantic, they can appear in any relationship we engage in. Our mistreatment may come from our parents, or extended family members, our brothers or sisters, and even our kids can be abusive in nature towards us.

We may have a friend who is cruel or manipulative. Our bosses or coworkers can control or demean us. Truly, there are many places where these positions of trust can be misused. Yet, it is in our general nature to trust or to want to trust. Sometimes, however, our previous experiences color our willingness to trust in a way that is unhealthy.

3 Major Types of Abuse

  1. Mental abuse is the realm in which someone seeks to cause us to think badly of ourselves. Through manipulation, degradation, they have a way of diminishing our thoughts as stupid or irrational. Mental abusers prey on our insecurities and once found pick away at them until all that is left is self-doubt and the will to try is a far gone memory. Trust in yourself to know that you are capable of so much!
  2. Emotional abuse can be even more devastating in that eventually we close ourselves off to all emotion, or try to so that we can go numb to our attacker’s jabs and insults. We withdraw, and we may find ourselves depressed, questioning our feelings and in other instances wonder why we are even still alive if we’re so worthless and wrong. You are not worthless!
  3. Physical abuse is the most noticeable of the three. In most instances, the people i have spoken with about their stories say that it started with harmless criticism, then they became controlling and isolated them from the people who care or would intervene. Then, when there was no one around to interfere, the abusive person would hit the wall and the mind games and emotional rollercoaster would spiral out of control and become physically violent. You are nobody’s punching bag!

Regardless of how it started, an abusive relationship where the victim stays only perpetuates the aggressor’s view of the victim as worthless, beneath them, or somehow the cause of their unhappiness or hurt. Yes, I said hurt. Most abusive people were themselves at some point abused. In other words, it is a learned behavior yet in most cases it is seldom an unlearned behavior.

The patterns repeat and magnify in severity, and in most cases will do so until they are stopped. This can happen a few ways but seemingly the only positive resolution typically results in the victim getting help and getting away from their abuser.

Get help and learn to trust yourself

If you or someone you know is stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy and or abusive, get out or get help now! Do not sit idle another day in hopes it will change. They rarely do until something horrible happens.

You will not change an abuser and rarely do they seek and follow through with getting help for their issues. The only true way for you to be safe and end the abuse is by leaving and finding a safe environment. Let them deal with their demons some way other than by taking it out on you.

Don’t listen to their lies another day. This may be a hard pill to swallow, but if they are hurting you or demeaning you, if they are hitting you or disrespecting your feelings, then I’m sorry…They do not love you. They are not healthy for you or themselves. They will not stop.

Finding your way in the aftermath

Finding your way in the aftermath can be frightening. But you are not alone! There are many others out there who know what you are going through, who have been somewhere similar. You do not have to do this on your own and you are not wrong!

Your safety, your life, and your beautiful smile are worth believing in. You are not the one who is broken. You are worthy of a healthy relationship for who you are. You are beautiful, and you are the only you out there. The world is waiting for your brilliance to shine again.

There is help out there. No one will judge you. Your safety IS what matters. Get out, get help. Tell a friend, a relative, anyone! Below you will find a list of national abuse help resources and there are many others in your area. Call them if you need, before it is too late.

 Domestic Violence & Abuse Help Resources

Crisis Text Line

TEXT “GO” TO 741741

National Child Abuse Hotline

1.800.422.4453

www.childhelp.org

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1.800.799.7233

www.ndvh.org

 

Leave a Reply