Family is as Family Will Be

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.

-Richard Bach

Family is Not The Blood That Runs in Your Veins:

I mean it is, but it is not limited to just that blood. Your family is the people that love you and want to see you succeed even when you’ve given up. It is the people in your life that no matter right or wrong have your back and encourage you to never give up.
As an adopted child, I struggled early on in life with my identity. The illusion that I had believed for years felt like a lie to me for the longest time. When I was told this earth shattering news, I felt cheated and robbed.
I went through an identity struggle for a year or two. I refused to acknowledge my name, I avoided my adopted family. I felt like I was all alone in the world. Eventually, I realized I was being a spoiled brat and hurting those that chose to love me unconditionally. As time went on, I learned the reality was that I was blessed to have so many extra people in my life to love me.
True, your family includes the people that have the same blood coursing inside of them, but we also choose our family and at times they choose us. We choose our tribe or clan if you will. Throughout our lives, there are those that enter it and those that leave it. However, our true people will always be there. They are there when we celebrate our victories and they are there to pick us up when we fall defeated.
Our family structure can be as large or as small as we deem fit. It is ever-changing, and if we’re lucky we have more entering our life than exiting. It is always sad when someone we love leaves us. Yet, sometimes it is a blessing just the same. Either way, we are blessed with those relationships that come and those that leave.
So how do we foster a positive family environment? By learning first of what we are willing to accept and what is simply intolerable. We must decide what moral code is important to us so that we may use that to weigh those we allow into our lives. Those who are truly worthy of a place in our hearts will prove so by never asking us to compromise our morals.
Those who do not have our best interest at heart will certainly show themselves soon enough if we are awake and our hearts,our eyes, and minds are opened. The one’s who truly love us will never judge us too harshly for the mistakes we make. Those who do not care will remind us of our missteps repeatedly over and over.
Our family structure or circle of trust can be as large or as small as we will it to be. It will grow and shrink with our personal and spiritual growth as well. Some that come into our lives we may adopt into our family and they may be there forever. Others will eventually go their own way. This happens for reasons either known or unknown to us. It’s not always our choice.

Sometimes, people must go their own way for their own personal growth. While these subtractions from our life may be painful they’re not always negative. In some instances, a person who leaves us may even teach us something of ourselves. We may need them to exit so that we can gain a deeper insight into ourselves.

Almost always, if one person leaves our circle another may step in. We view this new person at times as the new so-and-so, but the reality is they are not a replacement but rather a new addition to our blessed tribe.

So remember, endings are sad but there is usually someone new coming in also. The lessons we learn are the grace that allows us to add and subtract people from our lives. In no way, should we mourn the detraction of someone simply because they are gone because usually there is a reason, be it a fault of ours or theirs.
So look around at the people in your life and know that the one’s who are true, will always be there whether they are next to us or whether they are a million miles away. We may go for months or even years without speaking but, family is family and they’re almost always a phone call away. Family is as family does and if we’re lucky enough to have one, then we ar already eternally blessed by the Universe.

2 thoughts on “Family is as Family Will Be”

  1. Your article has come to my attention at the perfect time. I’m dealing with blood family issues and considering cutting my family out of my life. It’s hard and I’m doubting myself every step of the way, but ultimately I’m hoping that I’m not being a “spoiled brat.” Haha. Funny to me that you use those words because those are the exact words I’ve been grappling with in my mind. Thank you for sharing your story. 🙂 Have you cut any of your adoptive family members out of your life?