Hurt People Will Always Hurt People

We’ve all known them at some point in our lives. The broken, the damaged, the ones truly hurt from their past. They are the one’s who usually try our every last thread of patience and sadly enough, it’s not necessarily their fault.

At some point, something hurt them so deeply that they do not even realize that they are damaged. They do not even realize they are causing others hurt either. These people need our compassion more than any other. They need to be nurtured in the grace of healing.

This is not an easy task by any means. Usually, those who are hurt to this degree are so snow-blind by their coping mechanisms they’ve created that they refuse to admit there is a problem. What’s worse is that admitting that they are hurt would cause them excruciating pain and suffering. In order to admit their pain, it would actually force them to feel the hurt that they have gone to great lengths to avoid.

So how then can we help those who will not otherwise help themselves? How do we un-break the broken? We simply cannot. Unless they are ready to look inside at their pain there is simply nothing we can do.

Loving someone who is hurt internally and denying their pain only ends in creating more suffering both for ourselves and them. By staying and trying to overlook their pain, we ultimately are only enabling them to continue the self-destructive path that they’re on. By leaving, we validate their internal damage as well.

However, when they find themselves running out of sympathetic friends, they will wake up to this reality and hopefully do something to change it. But no intervention can be possible without the hurt person being willing to finally admit their hurt. In other words, they have to be at a point where they are ready to admit to themselves that there is an issue.

To confront them would be entirely too painful. To ignore it and stay would only justify the actions they’ve perpetrated. Staying and trying to overlook the various incidents of lashing out or destructive and vengeful actions will only enable them to continue justifying their actions and in the end ignoring their issues.

As much as it may suck to walk away from those we care about, this is the only way they may see that there is a problem. It hurts, and it’s sad and depressing, although this is the reality of it. Nothing we do can fix them. They need our compassion and love, but the best way for us to show that love is to walk away and pray that the gods grace them with healing.

11 thoughts on “Hurt People Will Always Hurt People”

  1. This post is spot on. I’ve endured a lot of hurt at the hands of someone who never accepted responsibility for his own actions. He blamed everyone else and as a result lived a very selfish life. Everyone’s world needed to revolve around him or he would do outrageous things to get attention. I came to find out he too was abused as a child but he never used his misfortune for good, instead he inflicted hurt on everyone. He asked for love and in many cases demanded it but didn’t know how to show love. It was a sad cycle of abuse.

    1. Some people will never realize their hurt and will remain in their delusions of innocence and blame everyone for the hurt they feel, or worse yet, never actualize and realize the pain and ultimately be resigned to this behavior.

      If we can heal the broken, then the only way to do so is through love & compassion. With time & consistency, all healing is possible if we believe.