When you stop worrying so much about what has happened in the past or stressing yourself out about what could happen in the future, you will find life gets more tolerable. I know, I do it too. But the thing is that most if not all of your alleged stress is not coming from outside of your body. Your mind and your egos control of it are to blame for all of your stress.
Sure, we can blame anyone we want to blame but the only reason why someone is able to stress us out or ruin our day is that we ourselves allow them to do so. It is our own conscious and over-thinking brains that cause us this undue stress. Which leads me to a question I want you to ask yourself the next time you’re exceptionally stressed and want to blame others…
Is it real? Or is it our own over-thinking that has led us to this point of constant disappointment?
Think about it, is it the pile of papers on your desk and that deadline looming that has you vexed? Or is it maybe that you spent too much time watching “Game of Thrones” last night and you’re just sleepy now? Is it your slacker husband or nagging spouse that is really stressing you out? Or is it the communication between you perhaps? Or maybe it’s just the wrong relationship. This can be true of both business and personal relations.
We do it to ourselves. Can’t you see that? Our attachment to the outcomes, our attachment to our expectations, and to the “acceptable societal norms” are the cause of our stress, anxiety, depression, and worry. It is because we want a certain outcome that goes against the nature of whatever situation we’re in.
Once we realize that the Universe has everything we truly want and need already planned out for us, life is a sunny day. All we have to do is pay attention, enjoy the sweet ride and try not to trip over our own two feet.
It can be trying for any healthy people to reach compromise, but most communicative people will make it. Now if we have the same situation, yet the couple does not communicate it is bound to be a nightmare.
When two people are open and honest and respectful in expressing themselves and their expectations life flows like a gentle stream, slowly and gently through the meadows. However, when two people have their expectations set in their own minds and do not communicate, do not treat each other gently, do not make the best of it that’s when trouble ensues.
If you love someone, you listen when they talk right? You’re compassionate to their needs and feelings too, yeah? Maybe sometimes you get a little upset and pick an argument about important things? As long as your bone to pick is a real and reasonable one and you approach with respect, then almost anything can be worked through.
Yet when we approach with our own self-interests in mind and enter the dispute with anger and resentment in our hearts, no good outcome is even possible. The only thing that will likely happen is the trip will be ruined, hearts will hurt, and the relationship itself in dire jeopardy.
If you are not capable of meeting in the middle, of true compromise then you should not be in a relationship in the first place, business or pleasure. You are being unfair to your partner, and the right people for them, and you’re being unrealistic and unfair with yourself. Detach from your self-centric worldview and realize that out of many we become one. No man is an island they say, and that is especially true in both love and business.
Let down your ego. Stop inviting disappointment into your life by wildly expecting things of others. Stop placing blame at the unplanned and unforseen. Just breathe, accept what is, and enjoy the ride. If you’re still this unhappy after you’ve let go of your expectations, then maybe there are other routes or steps to take. But first, just makes sure you’re not just being a dick.