Just because someone apologizes, does not mean we have to accept that apology in our life. Just because they say their sorry doesn’t mean we have to give them another chance to break their word and ruin our own happiness. Bottom line, only you can determine what you will allow in your life and what is unacceptable.
Don’t let anyone try and guilt you into doing something you don’t want to either. Often times we may find ourselves trying a relationship again after a serious breakup, or we may allow our best friend back into our lives even though they slept with our spouse. But the simple fact remains, they should only be back in our life if we want them there.
Who has had a relationship go bad? And when we finally have had enough, we throw in the towel and try to walk away right? Well, how many of you have found yourself somehow baited back into the very same relationship you wanted out of in the first place? It happens, but if you left I feel that you must have left for a reason.
So, if the goal is obviously to exit the relationship then what are you doing getting sucked back into fights? If you’re walking away, then walk brothers and sisters. Standing around and waiting for the smoke to clear only ends one way. A stray bullet rips through our heart and suddenly we find ourselves guilt-ridden and stuck back in the same nightmare.
If we truly are living in the now, and mindfully so then we must be able to see that we are not only hurting those we love but most importantly we’re setting ourselves up for an internal letdown. When we tell ourselves that we’re done with something particularly bad or unhealthy for us, and go back on that pact we made with ourselves it creates dissonance within our psyche, and that discourse plays out in usually one obvious way, resentment.
Resentment typically happens when we do something usually for another that maybe we didn’t want to do or didn’t think was fair. It is one of the big ingredients in a toxic relationship and when it rears its ugly head no one is safe from the reach of its wrath. We find ourselves angry and sour at the fact we’re doing exactly what we said we would not tolerate anymore. It sucks and it causes more anger and more resentment towards the other person in the relationship as well and is a self-feeding never ending cycle.
So if you say you quit, then you may as well mean it. Because in truth, the only one you’re hurting is yourself in the long-run. Your sub-conscious takes a hit when you don’t follow through on your stated objectives and goals. So while it may not be a huge deal that you gave so and so another chance despite all of your friends and family warning you against it, it is in fact, a huge deal to your soul.
Anytime we tell ourselves something is a certain way, and then act in a counter-productive manner in accordance with the plan, our soul harbors a little self-doubt. If we build enough of that self-doubt, it gets substantially worse as it piles on. It leads to us not being able to trust our own intuitions, to doubting our abilities to do simple things we once loved, and it can derail our self-confidence and self-love.
I’ve always said it, be careful of the things you tell yourself. It is the one place where you’ver got to say what you mean and mean what you say. Even when you think no one else is paying attention, even if they’re not. Your inner child is still in there hearing all. Don’t disappoint him.
Your true self is always listening to the words you say. And that inner-child is fragile and frightened, so when you convince him of something, it’s best to follow through. So if you’re quitting, then quit. If you’re going then get out the door and beat feet. Do not stay where you do not wish to be.
Sure, it hurts to give up on a relationship. Sure, life is not guaranteed and that may have been your one true love. But if you fight more than you fuck, then perhaps it’s time to reevaluate the nature of things. Pick whichever course of action you want, but ultimately the Universe will make the moves it needs to set you in your proper place in time. Remember this, while all relationships require effort, they should not take everything you’ve got.
So make your move. Make up your mind, and make the move. Otherwise, you’ll simply be doomed to repeat the same arguments over and over. No one wants that. It’s no fun. So do what is in your best interest and what is healthiest for you, be kind, and be safe. Love is a many splendored thing, true. But it is not a splendor worth having a heart attack over.