Self-Love is defined as the way one treats oneself when no one else is paying attention. It is the ways in which we love ourselves or the positive manner in which we behave towards ourselves. It’s the way we speak to and of our true selves.
I suppose I should explain what I mean by our true self. Our true self is our sub-conscious, or the little voice inside of us. It is our inner voice, our inner child; the true self is our connection to the universal flow of positive living energy. It is separate from our conscious mind, or ego.
Our ego is typically the critical, judgemental aspect of our being. It is the part of us that relies on our past experiences to either tell the truth or run away and lie. It’s the part of us that, depending on our experience, may or may not be cold and calloused to the possibilities in life. Typically, it is the voice in us that holds us down by assuring us we can’t succeed, that we are unworthy.
Self-Love is the act of silencing our ego. It is the act of loving ourselves enough to nurture that inner voice. Loving ourselves truly is teaching our inner child to grow and blossom and to let that soft voice take control & guide us on our true path with love and compassion, the way the universe originally intended.
So in essence we may view the true self or subconscious as a positive guiding force in our life, and thusly the ego or conscious as the negative. However, anyone who has even the slightest of theological or philosophical study under their cap, would reason that without one we could not accept the other. So how then do we compensate, or rather mend the gap between the two? I’m sure there are too many to list, but I’ve come up with 8 ways to foster the growth of self-Love within ourselves.
*8 Ways To Truly Create Self-Love Within Ourselves*
1. MORNING AFFIRMATIONS: Each morning, look at yourself in the mirror. Smile lovingly at your reflection and help yourself 3 things that you love about yourself and that you will own the day.
2. EVENING FORGIVENESS: Each night, again gazing at your reflection in the mirror, forgive yourself aloud for 3 mistakes you’ve made that day. And assure yourself tomorrow will be better.
3. MIND YOUR SELF-TALK: Be mindful and be careful the things you say to yourself throughout the day. Your ego will convince you of cruel things. Don’t listen. Be mindful of the way you speak of yourself both aloud and to yourself in your mind. Remind yourself you’re a work in progress and perfect just the way the universe made you.
4. Acceptance of Circumstance: It’s important to know what can be changed and what simply is beyond our control. Once we’ve realized the things within our reach and learned to be grateful for what we have already, the unattainable falls away and we are left with simply what we are. It is then, that we become truly self-fulfilled; needing no external validation.
5. Throw Out The Mags: Maxim, Cosmo, & other so-called “Health & Beauty Magazines” only serve to alienate us from reality. The reality that no amount of make-up, exercise, or high-end clothing is going to make us anything more than we already are. They won’t help us find a better mate, the heart that’s meant for you is gonna love you as you are- here & now.
6. SELF CARE EVERY DAY: Acting on what we need instead of what we want and avoiding fleeting pleasures that feel good temporarily will help us grow towards our goal. When we take massive deliberate action we affirm our intentions to ourselves and the universe. We create a positive cycle of growth with which to build a solid foundation of care.
7. NURTURE YOURSELF-MIND, BODY, & SOUL: Eat better, a healthy diet shows proof that we love ourselves. Slowing down to be mindfull of what we ingest and actually enjoying our meals leads to enhanced digestion and absorption of nutrients our bodies need. Get plenty of rest. The average adult needs 8-10 hours of truly restful sleep to regenerate damage done from our day, the stress we face and the wear & tear of daily life. And while you rest and heal the body we also restore the mind & spirit, leading to feeling stronger, healthier, and more alert and present & allows us the resources necessary to be the best us.
8. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE INFLUENCE: Find those in your tribe who are full of life & love, the friends, and acquaintances who “have it together.” These folks are not only positive influences towards your self-care, they most likely know what it is to truly love oneself, and will cheer you on and help you on your path. But mind the fakes. Steer clear of those who are cocky, arrogant, or even narcissistic. Their toxicity will only drag you down and suck the living energy right from you. Rid your life of the gossips, negative nancies, users, and manipulators and surround yourself with the people who genuinely want you to succeed.
Practicing Self-Love is not about pampering ourselves. It is about making the conscious decision to grow out of old habits that no longer serve us, it is a declaration of our intention to live a more fulfilling life complete with the goals, and aspirations we set. We set our intentions and boundaries accordingly and aim for what we want most. Any process that leads us to that goal eases our self-criticism, alleviates our mindless sufferings, makes our short-comings easier to handle, and ultimately we learn how to exist completely self-sufficient of external approval or validation and finally know that we are indeed enough.
Once we love ourselves truly, we attract the things we want in our life while repelling the things we don’t. The effect snowballs out into every aspect of our life. We are free to love at will, and that love is reciprocated. It is only after we truly learn to love ourselves that we are finally able to let others love us. We as well can show selfless love and compassion for others because we choose to, not because we need to. We are finally free. We are finally enough. Enough for the universe, and enough for ourselves.
The universe made each of us perfectly flawed but is waiting to grace us with endless love and abundance. We just have to love ourselves so that it can love us back.