“Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed.”
It has been long enough, don’t you think? I know how you must feel when things continually seem just to go wrong. We are all guilty of the same thing, regrets. But, what good do they do us? Can we change them? The best we can do is to learn from our past and make a declaration of self-love and practice the art of letting go.
It could be a person who has left, or maybe they haven’t yet. It might be something we did or didn’t do that we wish we had. The memory gnaws at us incessantly until we are ready to scream. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can’t we just be happy?
Well, the short answer? We can if we want to be. Too simple? You’re right; it’s almost that easy. Or rather, it would be if we could only get out of our way. Happiness is a choice we make every moment of every day, and the only one that can make the decision to be happy is ourselves. We just have to be able to love ourselves enough to see that we deserve happiness.
Most instances where we cannot find the cause of our unhappiness is because we are standing on it. We block ourselves subconsciously from being happy. Though we can swear up and down that we’re trying to be happy, what we end up doing is creating more disconnected discomfort for ourselves.
On the surface, we seem calm and courageous as we fight the good fight against all the turmoil that comes from outside of us. We are preconditioned as human beings to two things: denial of blame and avoidance of pain.
No one likes to have to admit their faults or their wrongs; it brings us embarrassment and shame. But why are we so delicate? What’s the big deal we made a mistake, we’re only human, right? Being human is why we find discomfort and even pain in being in the wrong no matter how we ended up there.
We go to great lengths, some of us, to avoid having to admit we messed up. We harbor these feelings of guilt and remorse, and before we know it, we hurt. It’s not an imagined pain either, we worry and fret so much it makes it real, unbearable to us at times.
If we could only just take a step back and see we are not supposed to be perfect at everything, it’s how we continue to grow through life. Mistakes happen, and lessons get learned. Or, we get taught again. Learning to accept this fact allows something very powerful to happen, we can forgive ourselves and move forward.
We fear what we don’t know, most of us. Save for a select chosen handful of us, most of us would prefer to know what’s coming next. We’ve built our societies and cultures around it. We have prediction methods for almost everything that we could ever need. Physicists have written impossible algorithms to predict outcomes of unproven theories and accounted for extreme variables, is this what made us so timid after all this time?
Physicists have written impossible algorithms to predict outcomes of unproven theories and accounted for extreme variables, yet we’re afraid of what? Our fears are nothing more than irrational beliefs that we have convinced ourselves of, to lessen the risk of embarrassment or failure. When we remove all of our fears, the scariest part of all becomes evident, WE ARE THE MONSTER UNDER OUR BED! And we have been our whole lives.
Live your life every moment of every day. Take risks, fuck it up. Screw it up so massively that it rips you to pieces if you want. But remember, you alone have the glue to put you back together.
Self-love and true inner care are the gateways to your abundant happiness. As we move through life, if we can do so mindfully then we can face our fears. We can forge our path in the face of pain and suffering. A good life is not one free of suffering; it is one where the pain we endure serves its purpose and teaches us something.
Once we have loved ourselves enough to make the grand mistakes, once we have cared enough for ourselves to face down our fears and own them as our own can we truly begin to be happy. Only after we have forgiven ourselves for being afraid for so long, after we’ve stripped away the self-defense mechanisms and just let go and let ourselves live in this moment, only then can we be truly free.
Free yourself from the prison in your mind. Practice the art of letting go & the art of mindfulness. Decide today that you no longer will hold yourself hostage to your past, breathe in the new and breathe out the old. Clean out the attic and send the skeletons packing. Finally, then you will know true happiness.