It happens to us all at least once a day, when we run into someone we know on the street and the small talk ensues. The standard routine applies, right? We ask what’s new, or my favorite, “How have you been?”
What do we do?
Most of us play it off, don’t we? We tell a little white lie and say we’re good. Culturally, we have been trained to hold our negative experience close to our chest and not vent our frustrations.
But why? Who made the rule that we shouldn’t share our frustrations? Why is it that we’re supposed to choke down our emotional baggage to make someone else comfortable?
If someone asks how our day has been we play off that we’ve had a horrible day. We say something like, “I’m good.” Or even, “Well, I could complain but who wants to listen?”
We do not allow ourselves to own our emotions. We actually do ourselves a disservice in doing so.
Your energy, whether it is positive or negative is yours to own. If you’re upset about something, you have a right to feel and express that energy in healthy ways. But, the problem is that most of us do not know what healthy emotional expression is.
When we get upset, we react. When we’re happy we react. We don’t weigh out the balance of the two, we just react.
The issue with this is that we don’t weigh out who we’re reacting to or how. We’ve been taught to bottle our emotions in until they boil over and we burst at the seams.
Are you prone to blowing up over small things? Do you seem to get irritated over little things?
It’s time to own your own energy. It’s time to reclaim your happiness and power. You deserve a happy and fulfilled life. Here are a few tips to get you started on your path to reclaiming your power.
Often times, when we are unhappy it is because we have been allowing others to take our energy away from us. We may or may not have boundaries that we let others constantly cross. The problem with this is after awhile the people we allow to cross our healthy boundaries begin to respect us less.
When they respect us less, they take our power from us. They steal our self-respect and in doing so, they take our energy. When our energy is depleted, we may become irrational, depressed, anxious, or downright angry.
To a point, we have a right to be upset. However, to the same extent, we have allowed this to take place. The responsibility is on us to reclaim our power. Though this is not an easy task, it is essential to our happiness.
Of course, we can avoid this problem altogether by being proactive and not giving our energy away to those who do not deserve it. By keeping our power and only giving it to those who truly deserve it, we form healthier and happier relationships that are ultimately more beneficial for all involved.
When we respect ourselves, we make smarter choices for ourselves. We appear more sure-footed and confident to others. We have an essence of “having it together” and give the impression that we will not accept less than what we deserve.
When we do not respect ourselves, it is equally apparent to outsiders. This lack of self-respect tells others that it is ok to disrespect us. It allows the impression that others do not need to show us respect because we do not value ourselves, much less them.
In order to maintain happy relationships of any sort, we have to have respect for ourselves. In order to have respect for others, we must first respect and love ourselves, otherwise, we are essentially using them to boost our own self-image.Would you respect someone who does not respect you as well?
Would you respect someone who does not respect you as well? Can you love someone who does not love themselves?
Maybe, but you will most likely find yourself questioning their motives around every turn. This is an exhausting way to exist and further serves to steal our power.
Most of us get down from time to time, we’re human. It is permissible to have a bad day now and then. But, let me ask you this; how many of you know someone who seems to always be having a bad day? Maybe it is you?
For those who have what I call, “Eeyore Syndrome” the perpetual dark cloud that follows them around is in most cases self-fulfilling. They anticipate negativity and in doing so attract that negativity into their lives.
It is not that they mean to do so, but rather that by expecting bad things to happen they overlook the good things. After a period of time, they can not see any good things happening because they are so hyper-focused on the bad.
Being happy is a conscious choice that we make. It takes practice, and it takes effort. With everything going wrong in the world today, it can be hard to find the bright spots. But, the fact is that they do exist and they are there for us to see if we can recognize them when they arise.
Over the next week, when you find yourself getting down or being negative make yourself think of one good thing or blessing in your life for every hardship or complaint you have.
Each time you open your mouth to complain, stop first and think of a way to voice your frustration in a way that acknowledges a blessing or lesson you are being taught.
Then, express gratitude to the Universe for the lesson that you have been given. Give thanks for everything you have and even the things that you don’t have. The Universe might be helping you make room for something even greater.
Life is full of good moments and bad moments but in order to truly be happy we must focus on the positives, give thanks for the lessons in between. We must learn to retain our energy and own it. We need to respect and love ourselves as we want others to do the same, and we need to remain ever vigilantly focused on the things that serve our purpose best.