How to Screw up the Present by Focusing on the Past
We’ve all been hurt before. We’ve all had those relationships that we hoped would last forever, but they ended harshly months later. For whatever reason, “the one” ruined things or we did. But, what is for certain is that somewhere in the past we became a victim of the cycle.
Now, I’m aware you might be wondering, what cycle? Most of us don’t even notice it. Most of us end up too consumed and encompassed by our own feelings of inadequacy and so utterly obsessed with the notion of getting ourselves over our hurt, that we don’t realize how utterly damaging that relationship and the loss of it, was to us.
We scramble to feel better at all costs. We distract ourselves with friends and go out quickly to forget ole what their name as quickly as possible, yet we never take the care or time to heal our heart.
When we are hurt, we tend to hurt others
We continue to screw up our chances for a happy future in our haste to move forward and feel like us again. The reason we ought to wait a while before jumping back into the puddle filled with plenty of fish long before we are healed.
If we aren’t over our past, and we have not dealt properly with the discourse within us then moving forward is superficial at best because truthfully if we cannot care for ourselves enough to allow ourselves to heal our heart; h0w could we ever hope to give someone else even half our busted and bruised heart?
The hurt people will always hurt people until they love themselves enough to fix themselves before presenting their heart to another. In other words, before we can properly love another we must first learn to love ourselves.
Heal away the fear
In order to prepare ourselves for the future and open our hearts to another love, we must first resolve our issues with the past. By clearing the slate of our emotional baggage left over from the past, we can fully open ourselves to a new love.
So, how do we clean out the residual leftovers from our past heartache and begin to move forward?
- To begin healing the heart, we must first look deep inside and find the places in which we are still sensitive.
- Meditate and reflect on the instances in the past where we have felt hurt, or have felt that we were wronged by another. Be open and honest with yourself allow the answer to come to you. Typically, if we are open to solutions they will come to us.
- Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. In fact, in most instances, we’re not forgiving someone for them. In reality, to carry this grudge only serves to keep us stuck holding this weight. By forgiving the past, we ultimately release ourselves from carrying the weight of someone else’s wrongs. Remembering that it happened keeps it from happening again, but dwelling on it keeps us prisoner to its pain.
- If you find that you are having real trouble letting go of the emotional attachment to the person who hurt you or even to the hurt itself, you might try an emotional cord cutting meditation. Doreen Virtue has an e-course designed to let go of past trauma. You can find that here.*
However you decide to finally let go of the past you have been dragging around, the point is this-
It is time for you to love yourself enough to let go of the past and move on.
I invite you to release yourself from the bonds of your past trauma and be happy again. I invite you to let the hurt of yesterday fall away as you step into the brand new version of yourself. I invite you to open your heart to love again no longer a victim of the cycle that no longer serves you.