When love gets real

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

Friedrich Nietzsche

 Love- if it is worth it, takes effort and patience

Ah, love! What a splendid feeling it is when you meet someone who lights the fires of passion within your heart. The first month or two everything comes together and it seems as though you will never be lonely again.

The “honeymoon phase” as it is referred to is beautiful. It is passion filled and magical and it would seem as though every bad relationship before this was merely a bad dream. And, why shouldn’t they? You have found your soul mate, right?

Life creeps it’s way back in. The daily grind kicks back in and we find ourselves spending less time together. There is a lot to do, and the job we have been ignoring by far and large begins to require more and more of our time.

Perhaps, the constant attention begins to be too much to maintain, and we find that we zone out after dinner, if we make it home in time to eat together. The weekends fill up with chores and to-do lists and before we know it, the magic begins to fade.

Keeping the fire burning

When the initial spark has faded and our lives get in the way, that is when the real work begins.

In order to keep those passionate fires burning for our heart’s desire, we must be prepared with wood to stoke the fire. Great care must be taken to nurture such a fragile flame. It takes more than just love, it takes care, compassion, and intention.

You see, the mistake that most of us make in our relationships is to assume that love is enough. I assure you, it is not.

In order to keep the fire of love burning, we must give our relationship the same care and dedication that a master craftsman gives to his trade. Just as it takes time and patience to carve the ornate scrolling designs into

Just as it takes time and patience to carve the ornate scrolling designs into the wood by hand, it takes care and patience to understand our partner’s needs. It takes even more to fulfill them.

Communication, dedication, and empathy

Sometimes, when we have been with a person long enough, we can tend to become desensitized to their feelings. We might say, “Oh, that’s just how she is.” Or, “He always does this when he is stressed out.”

While this may be true of our mate, it doesn’t make it any less important to cater to our loves needs. In fact, it becomes even more important at this stage of the relationship to be sensitive to the emotions of our significant other.

While this may be true of our mate, it doesn’t make it any less important to cater to our loves needs. In fact, it becomes even more important at this stage of the relationship to be sensitive to the emotions of our significant other.

When love gets real, it is even more important to resist turning a careless cheek to each other’s feelings. It is all too easy to want to turn and walk away from each other. Instead, we have to run towards each other in our moments of pain.

The little things matter even more now

After months or even years, it becomes ever more vital to pay attention to each other and what it is that causes distance in our partner. The little things that drive our partner up the wall are worth changing.

Yes, it is worth changing the small stuff for the one we love. I’m not saying change the core components of who we are, but little habits that are essentially easy to change with a little bit of concerted effort are definitely worth it to save your relationship.

“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’ be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”

-Bob Marley

True love takes effort. To make a love last for the ages, it takes determined and steadfast dedication. When love gets real is when it gets hard. But, I can tell you this-

If you truly are in love, you will move mountains for them. Even if you have to do it one rock at a time.

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