Good morning everybody, I hope you’re all doing well and blessed today. It’s a sun-filled sky here in the desert, I hope wherever you’re reading this the sun also warms your face. It’s time for your manic Monday edition of The Daily Kickstand. Open up & feel this one, and if you dig it by all means use the link to subscribe to the blog. Here we go…
It is one of the strongest muscles in our bodies, yet it is usually the first thing to break when we pour everything we’ve got into something only to have it spill out in front of us. We can seemingly only stand by and observe in slow motion as the contents of our hearts- our emotions run down our faces in salty expressions of the longing we feel for that which our hearts were set on.
It seems that no matter what, we can’t avoid it right? That regardless of what we do, we feel hopeless & powerless to save the ache in our soul as we watch our dreams crumble. Well it may be true we can’t always protect our heart from emotional trauma, we can minimize the effects if we act proactively. If we can remember to care for it the way we would care for a priceless porcelain antique, then perhaps the damage is fixable. It just so happens, the Universe makes a glue strong enough to piece it back together.
Obviously, we need to love ourselves and be kind and fair with ourselves. We can minimize the impact of disastrous heartache by loving ourselves enough to know that a certain thing or situation is no longer healthy or safe for us. That moment in self-care where we must choose to walk away from the toxicity that will be our ultimate demise.
:3 SIGNS THAT IT’S TIME TO Go:
- ABUSE: Obviously, any relationship whether romantic, family relatives, or platonic, Physical Abuse is NEVER ACCEPTABLE!!! This should go without saying, but unfortunately with physical abuse often times there is also a more sinister weapon used that is harder to see, harder to fight, and harder to escape. PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, while it doesn’t leave any visible scarring is in my opinion 10x’s worse. It hurts for weeks, month, decades, and in some cases, the victim never fully recovers.
- BLAME SHIFTING/INVALIDATION OF FEELINGS: When someone we’re involved in refuses to acknowledge their wrong doings or worse yet tries to turn the tables on us for something they actually did not only is it frustrating, but it also takes away mutual respect and control of the relationship. This shift in power not only hurts us but also sets a dangerous tone that if we let it continue unchecked, can not only hurt us but also can cause irreparable damage to our self-esteem and our safety. It basically says, “It’s ok to disrespect me.” (And that is NOT ok!)
- PROJECTING/CONTROLLING: Have you ever had someone blame you for things you’re not doing? I’m not saying once or twice randomly, I’m saying a lot. Every day you’re accused of doing something wrong like cheating, or texting things/people you shouldn’t, or otherwise being falsely accused- Your partner could be projecting their own infidelities on you as a means of alleviating their guilty conscious.
As if that weren’t bad enough, this projection from our partner not only paints us in a bad light & hurts our own self-image, but it also gives a shift in control and power to the other person. If enough of this power shift continues, we can find ourselves powerless to make decisions, leave the relationship, and can lead us back to reason #1 and thus worsen the cycle.
Bottom line folks, if someone treats you bad once-forgive them. If they do it a second time, the smart money says they’ll continue to do so. It’s time to realize they do not and most likely will not ever respect you no matter what you do. It’s time to go.
Look- if you don’t respect yourself you can be certain no one else will. So do yourself a favor, take control and ownership of your life. Never let someone treat you like your feelings don’t matter, or make you feel that you’re somehow not worthy of their time & respect. Be the best you that you can be. Be the beautiful being you already are. And give thanks and praise to the blessings of today. Bless Up!